i love old science fiction because it’s all like “IT’S THE DISTANT YEAR TWO THOUSAND AND THREE AND MAN IS EXPLORING THE DEEP CORNERS OF THE UNIVERSE” like god bless you old sci-fi you had such high hopes for us
you make it to the final round on who wants to be a millionaire and the $1,000,000 question is
ok do u finger urself
when you’re talking with a friend and they suddenly say something really offensive and gross
dont you just hATE WHEN YOURE TELLING A STORY THAT ACTUALLY HAPPENED AND YOU WILL HAVE THAT ONE FRIEND THAT TRIES TO FIND FLAWS IN EVERYTHING YOU SAY? THIS ISNT CSI BITCH
*meets u at a party* small talk is for posers, rate yr current level of existential dread from 1 to 10, let’s be emotionaly intimate forever starting now
"describe yourself in five words"
"hey remember that time when you-"